Emotional Distress
by pragmatically yours
Summary: Botan-centric, set after YYH; She's got something to hide. He's got somebody new. He just wants to satisfy his curiosity. Who could have guessed that love would happen? [Ko x Bo x Hi]
1. playing pretend

**Disclaimer: **I do not own YuYu Hakusho. That means no Hiei, Yusuke, Kurama, Kuwabara or Koenma or any of the other gorgeous anime guys that are featured on this show. They (and of their lucky anime girlfriends) all belong to Mr. Togashi. And now that I am thoroughly depressed, I think I'll just toddle off to bed with a huge quart of rocky-road ice cream.

With plushies.****

**Warning: **May be OOC at some point but I'm going to try REALLY hard to make sure that they're all in character. There is NO Kuwabara bashing in this story unless it's just Yusuke or Hiei being themselves. I happen to respect Kuwabara and I hope that I don't get any flames just because I refuse to bash him. Also, some spoilers...a few vague references to the Makai Tournament and the Sensui Arc.

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**Emotional Distress**

**by**** bittersweet-memory**

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Keiko Urameshi looked with bemusement at the chaotic scene in her backyard. Puu squeaked in protest when her arms involuntarily tightened and she let him go, knowing he'd be back later, when it was time to cut the cake. This was the two-year anniversary of the day Yusuke got back from the Makai and the group decided to have a little get together every year afterward, to "catch up". Her brown eyes traveled to Kurama and Yukina talking (no doubt trading healing tips), to the swing-set that Kuwabara and Yusuke were trying to build for the upcoming arrival of their child. She and Yusuke had argued over purchasing said swing-set but one look in his eyes and the famous puppy-face had awarded victory to Yusuke. Shizuru was inside, getting the rest of the food out for the patio. Hiei was lounging in "his" tree, eyes watching for any threats. She was particularly surprised to see him but figured that Mukuro had given him permission to be here for the day. The greenhouse (a wedding present from Kurama) door was wide open, the heat escaping and adding to the humidity. Botan and Koenma were the only ones who hadn't arrived yet. At the thought of the blue-haired ferry-girl, she sighed. The last time she'd talked to her, Botan had seemed withdrawn, and listless, completely unlike the cheerful optimist that Keiko had come to see as a sister.

_I hope everything's all right with her. Maybe Koenma's done something to upset her again..._

Keiko was the only one who knew of the relationship troubles that Koenma and Botan had been having as of late. They were having arguments so often that it almost seemed like a morbid type of routine. _Although_, Keiko thought,_ I never really thought he was the one for her._ _He was a good person and definitely not bad on the eyes but somehow, he didn't seem...right for Botan._ Of course, Keiko had kept her opinions to herself. She too polite to give Botan her opinion unless she was asked and Botan wasn't in any real danger from being with Koenma. Botan had seemed so happy when they got together that Keiko didn't think it was right for her to spoil it just because of a little feeling that had no real root.

Still, she couldn't help wondering...

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"You're doing it all wrong Urameshi!"

The former Spirit Detective gave an exasperated sigh at the rather unwelcome sound of his best friend's gravelly voice. Not that he'd ever admit it of course. He did have a reputation to live up to, even if he was already married and unofficially retired from the world of professional ass-kicking. Turning back to Kuwabara, he started to spit out one of his acidic retorts when a movement from the corner of his eye suddenly gave him pause. A flash of blue told him that his favorite ferry-girl had just arrived.

Oh yeah... and Koenma too.

He realized something else. They'd arrived **separately**. Usually, Koenma had just programmed a portal to take them anywhere they wanted to go in the human world. Yusuke gleefully rubbed his hand together. He was going to have fun milking it out of Koenma.

He cocked his head to the right when he heard a girlish squeal.

"Kuwabara! Put me down!"

Botan was currently spinning in mid-air courtesy of Kuwabara as everyone else looked on in amusement. After his ears had taken enough torture, Kuwabara gave in to her request, brown eyes sparkling with mischief.

"Well it's not my fault! You guys hardly ever come down here except for these parties. I've just missed you is all."

Botan smiled at him and after nodded greetings to Kurama, Yusuke and Hiei(still in his tree) moved to talk to Yukina and the very-pregnant Keiko. Shizuru chose that moment to come out of the house, arms laden with plastic plates and various eating utensils. Kurama rose from his seat to help her while Kuwabara and Yusuke continued their work on the swing-set. Koenma walked inside the comfortable two-story house, telling everyone he was going to wash up.

Picking up a screwdriver from the ever-present toolbox, Yusuke turned to Kuwabara.

"Did you see that?"

Kuwabara didn't even need to ask what "that" was and Yusuke knew it. Hell, with his friend's heightened sixth sense, Yusuke was surprised Kuwabara didn't already know what was going on.

"Yeah. I wonder what he did this time."

"You feel up for a little detective work?"

"Ahh...bad pun."

"Sorry. So you interested or what?"

"Hand me that hammer and we'll finish this up. Then, we investigate. Don't you think your baby's more important then the relationship problems of your former boss? "

"...Shut up."

Kurama shook his head at the usual retorts and gestured for Hiei to help him with the grill.

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Yukina, Keiko, Shizuru and Botan were inside sitting on the living room sofa, talking about everything. Keiko insisted that the boys could wait for the food for a few more moments. They had some major gossip to share.

"So Keiko, how is pregnancy treating you?"

Keiko thought for a moment, and then winced. The baby had kicked her again.

Shizuru gave a low chuckle.

"Guess that answers our question."

Botan turned to the elder Kuwabara with a smirk playing on her lips.

"And how about you? Married to Japan's former 'most eligible bachelor'?"

Shizuru rolled her eyes upward.

"Don't let him hear you talk like that. Contrary to what you might think, Kurama's got a healthy-sized ego."

Yukina giggled.

"Yes, but he can certainly afford to have one. He is quite adorable and his looks have only improved with his maturity."

The smoker's eyes softened.

"Yes they have, haven't they? Now, Kazuma on the other hand..."

Yukina cut her off before she became too harsh.

"Now, now. Kuwabara is handsome enough for me. And even if he wasn't, his personality more than makes up for it."

They sat in silent contemplation for a while, all four thinking about their various situations before Keiko saw the perfect opportunity to pounce. She knew Botan wouldn't mind spilling her secrets with Yukina and Shizuru present so it was now or never to pose her questions.

"Hey Botan...how about you and Koenma?"

A decidedly more masculine voice cut into the conversation at that point.

"What about us?"

Botan turned pinkish eyes on him, and spoke softly. Keiko suddenly noticed a slight redness in her friend's eyes.

"Nothing Koenma, can't we have a little girl time without one of you guys spoiling it?"

Although the words in the question were teasing enough, the tone they were delivered in had a touch of sadness. His brown eyes looked at her with something akin to regret. He nodded his head and walked outside presumably to help Kuwabara and Yusuke set up the slide.

That left Botan at the mercy of two extremely perceptive human women, and one equally persuasive ice apparition.

"What was that all about?"

There were times she hated Shizuru's advanced sixth sense. This was definitely one of those times.

"Nothing's wrong."

"Botan, don't give us that! Now answer Shizuru's question," Keiko snapped.

_Must be those mood swings_...

Yukina didn't say anything but Botan knew she was just as curious as the others. And she did owe them an explanation. After all, they were her friends and they should know. And more than that, she **wanted** them to.

"Koenma and I broke up."

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"What do you mean you and Botan broke up?"

By now, Kurama had left the steaks grilling, Hiei's ki moderating the intensity of the flames. Two of the four former detectives were sitting on the ground waiting for the story. Hiei was sitting near the grill wondering what in hell had possessed him to come to this "party". Then the image of Yukina came to mind and he stopped wondering. Kurama sat a little further away reading a book, deciding that if Koenma wanted to tell him about the beak-up he would, and until then he would mind his own business.

"I mean we broke up. Plain and simple."

"Why? What'd you do?"

Koenma resisted the urge to bop both of them on the head.

"I didn't do anything..."

At the regret in his tone, everyone became silent. Kuwabara was wondering what had happened. Yusuke was plotting his next question. Kurama was reading. Hiei was grousing and keeping an eye on the grill.

"There has to have been a reason. Botan isn't the type who'd break up with you over nothing."

Koenma looked up from the ground and changed into his toddler-form. It was tiring for him to stay in teen form for too long and besides, for some reason. It seemed easier to tell the story if he was in this form.

"We just decided...that it would be better if we went back to being friends. Simple as that."

"No. That's not all is it?"

He turned to Kuwabara who was watching him closely. It was rather unnerving. For someone Yusuke and Hiei called stupid all the time, there were few things he missed. Well, except of course for the Yukina-Hiei sibling relationship but that was intended...

And the Genkai incident...

Hell, they'd be here all day if he kept this up. It would be much easier if he just told them the **whole** story. Although, at the moment, he couldn't recall why he was even telling Yusuke and the others. Maybe because he needed a man-to-men talk.

"Maybe there is that little matter of me falling for someone else."

Kurama dropped his book, all good intentions tossed in the wind and even Hiei drew a little closer. If only just to tease Koenma later on.

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"He's in love with Ayame? Isn't she that dark-haired ferry girl you told us about? The one who helped out during the whole Sensui incident?"

"Yes. That's her."

Shizuru cracked her knuckles.

"Want us to castrate him for you?"

Botan blushed and shook her head in the negative though she couldn't stop a giggle from slipping through.

"No really. It's all right. I mean, it hurt me. But it didn't hurt as much as I thought it would. Am I making any sense?"

Yukina shook her head.

"I'm afraid not."

Botan closed her pinkish eyes.

"Hmmmm.....I don't really know how to explain it. I mean, I can't say I expected it. I thought we were good for one another. And I'd liked him for so long really. But remember when I got my vacation a few months ago? I wanted him to come with me. But he couldn't. Said he was too busy but told me to have fun. I didn't want to leave, but he insisted and so I went. He needed someone to fill in for me while I was gone. Enter Ayame."

She was startled to notice a few tears sliding down her cheeks but she continued her story.

"Anyway, that vacation lasted a good two months. Remember Keiko? I helped you go shopping for baby clothes, and we all had that 'girls-only' party at my temporary apartment? Oh and the trip to the carnival with the whole gang?"

After their nods in the affirmative, she rambled on.

"Yeah well, all the while, Ayame and Koenma were getting closer and closer. And he and I were fighting more and more. Then when I got back, he told me. He was up front and honest about it, which is saying something because you know how he can be sometimes..."

She trailed off when her voice broke. After a few sniffles and a hug from Yukina, she finished her story with a wavering voice.

"So he told me what happened. And I cried, of course. I mean, I **did** love him, after all. But for some reason, it didn't hurt me as much as being betrayed by your soul mate is supposed to hurt you. Like I said, I cried, and I still do sometimes, but in the end, it was pretty much a mutual break-up. And that's it."

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"And that's it?"

"Pretty much."

Yusuke waited one minute.

And then punched Koenma in the face.

He held back his strength, and hit just hard enough to hurt the demi-god, but not hard enough to bruise.

Koenma had been the one who brought him back to life after all. But that didn't mean he could hurt one of Yusuke's few friends and get away with it. Especially since this particular one was like the annoying little sister he never had.

Koenma rubbed his cheek gingerly.

"Well I guess I don't have to ask what that was for."

"No, I guess you don't."

Hiei, Kurama and Kuwabara watched impassively. The last two were digesting everything they had just heard. Hiei turned and walked away, sick with the whole affair. Human emotions meant little to him and he didn't understand their complications and idiosyncrasies. He idly wondered how the woman felt about all of this. He could never bring himself to even think of her using her given name. To him, she was just the one who had assigned them their missions and gave out relevant information. He had never bothered getting attached to her, like Yusuke, Kurama and Kuwabara. He wasn't soft.

Koenma's voice broke into his train of thought.

"Well, I hope you'll all be on your best behavior today, no matter what you think about the situation."

"Why?"

"Because Ayame's going to be here a little later."

"Why?

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"He's proposing to her? HERE?"

Shizuru shook her head and resisted the urge to take out a cigarette.

"That's what he told me. What? Don't look at me like that!"

Yukina, who had been silent for a while, looked at Botan with pity. When the ferry-girl saw her expression, she grimaced.

"Yukina, don't feel bad for me. I don't need you all to worry. I'll be fine. So when she does come, be nice to her and give her a chance. She really is a lovely person."

At that, she stood up, smoothed out her blue and white kimono, and walked to the bathroom, no doubt to freshen up.

The minute she was out of earshot, Keiko burst into tears.

"Where is he? I don't care if I'm pregnant; I'm going to castrate that cheating jerk with a plastic spoon!"

Shizuru shook her head and calmed Keiko down, mentally noting to stay on her good-side. Although she shared Keiko's desire, she knew it was for Botan to decide how to deal with Koenma and Ayame.

"Keiko, you have to calm down. Think of the baby!"

Keiko looked at Shizuru with all the tears Botan had refused to cry in her eyes.

"Didn't you see it? She's trying so hard to be strong and happy. But this is killing her!"

A _clink_ on the hardwood floor told them that Keiko wasn't the only one feeling Botan's pain.

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Botan slipped outside to check on the progress of the food and the swing-set. When she saw Koenma holding an ice-pack to his cheek, she knew that he had told them. She only wondered which one of them had given him the bruise. It was wither Kuwabara or Yusuke, as Kurama wouldn't have resorted to such "crude" technique and she found it hard to believe Hiei even cared. A few moments later, she found her enveloped in a strong pair of arms.

"I'm sorry about what happened Botan, but I gave him a pretty bruise to always remember you by."

_Yusuke..._

She turned, gave him a kiss on the cheek and ruffled his un-gelled hair playfully. But when she looked at him, there wasn't a trace of humor in her eyes.

"When she comes today, be nice to her...ok? She's a nice person. Give her a chance?"

The tinge of red in her eyes almost made him hit Koenma again but he decided against it. Keiko would no doubt have his head.

But then again...

No. He wouldn't do that. This was Botan's problem to confront and he'd help only when she asked.

He gave her a small wave and walked back to the still-unassembled swing-set. She walked to the end of the large backyard, and near the entrance of the small greenhouse and was instantly confronted with a mass of red.

"Kurama! You started me!"

He gave her a small smile in response.

"I've got something for you."

Her eyes lit up at the prospect of a present.

"Really? What is it?"

"Close your eyes and hold out your hand."

When she did as he asked, he presented her with a single perfect white rose. No doubt grown with the help of his special green-thumb.

"I know what happened with you and Koenma and if you need someone to talk to, Shizuru and I are always here. Meanwhile, I've always found that walking among greenery is one of the best ways to sort out one's problems. I'll tell everyone where you are all right?"

"All right. And Kurama?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

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He was watching her. Her eyes were sad as she gently cradled the rose in her hand and walked amid the wild vegetation Kurama had "installed" as a safe guard against any unwanted visitors. His eyes followed her every move. He had never noticed the grace with which she carried herself or the smoothness in even her simplest movements. He tensed when her eyes fell on his hiding place near one of the trees, but instantly relaxed when she shook her head and presumably attributed her unease to imagination.

She stopped in the center of the garden and inhaled the delicate scent of flowers.

"Kurama was right. A walk here certainly takes your mind off of things..."

A deep sigh followed.

"I know it's considered odd for someone to talk to themselves like this but in this case, I think I have the right. I mean, what do you when someone you were in love with for two years falls out of love with you and in love with someone new?"

She started to cry again, the tears she had tried to stop coming back full-force.

"He was my everything....at least I think he was... And yet, I'm crying not because of the break-up... but because I don't know how else I'm supposed to react. He's going to propose today. I don't know if I'm crying because it isn't me he's proposing to, or because I've just gotten so comfortable to him being with me. It's like I don't love him, but I do. I'm so confused... But none of this makes any sense! Does it? "

Of course, no one answered.

Botan gradually stopped her tears and stood up from where she had been kneeling. She wiped her face and used her compact mirror to check her appearance. Then, she walked out of the greenhouse, promising herself, that she wouldn't cry again.

She didn't notice the man who followed her, eyes trained on her figure.

The food was all set up when she got back to the patio and Yusuke and Kuwabara were putting the finishing touches on the swing-set.

A sudden "pop" attracted everyone's attention to the living room. That only meant one thing. Ayame was here.

There was a split second in which everyone didn't quite know what to do. Then, Koenma walked inside to greet his (hopefully) fiancée, followed by Yusuke and the others. Botan was last, still thinking about her mixed emotions.

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"...and finally, this is Kuwabara."

Ayame smiled at him. Kuwabara looked her over with his "man's eye". She was pretty, but he was sure that Botan was definitely prettier. Served Koenma right for breaking her heart anyway. But he wouldn't take out his resentment on Ayame.

"Nice to meet you, Ayame."

It was definitely awkward. Everyone except Hiei seemed to be walking on the proverbial eggshells and that was only because he didn't show that much emotion to begin with anyway.

The purple-haired ferry girl turned to Koenma with a quizzical expression on her face.

"Lord Koenma? Is there a reason you asked me to come here?"

The prince's eyes widened and he tugged at his red scarf. Keiko would have normally giggled, but she was still too angry to notice the demigod's nervous actions. Shizuru, Kurama and Yukina watched impassively. Botan smiled cheerfully, but it lacked its usual luster and didn't quite meet her eyes.

"U-um....A-Ayame, there is a r-reason I asked you here. Will y-you...t-that is...will you..."

He took a deep breath.

"Will you marry me?"

Botan's heart shattered when Ayame lit up and hugged the life out of Koenma.

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The others had warmed up to Ayame and offered their congratulations. Keiko was a little friendlier and Shizuru talked to her a bit. Yukina was just being the darling she always was. Botan had said her peace, and walked outside, hoping for some solace from the night wind. She shivered with the cold and something else that she couldn't quite identify. The door creaked open behind her and she turned to see Koenma looking pensive.

"Why aren't you inside?"

She gave him a bleak smile and turned around to face the backyard.

"I'm not in the mood for celebration. I don't want to pull anyone's mood down."

She looked down at his fourth left hand finger, knowing that in a few months it wouldn't be bare anymore. The thought made her queasy.

He looked at her one last time, shook his head and turned away. As he walked inside, he said, in a soft voice that Botan had to strain to hear...

_"I'm sorry..."_

She looked at him and when she was sure he couldn't hear her...

"Me too."

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Kurama and Hiei excused themselves from the festivities to get some air. Well actually, Kurama excused himself. Hiei just left. When Keiko saw that they were headed for the backyard, she decided to follow, wanting to see how Botan was doing. So with Yusuke's help, she hoisted herself up from her sitting position on the couch and walked into the night air. Kurama waited for her and Hiei walked ahead, already outside by the time Keiko was still walking through the doorway. Kurama and Hiei walked to Botan as she conjured her oar.

"Botan, might I ask you a question?"

Botan blinked at Kurama.

"Of course."

"I mean, I realize it's none of my business but I've been quite curious since you came—"

Now this was odd. Kurama seemed almost...flustered. Kurama was **never** flustered.

"Just ask the question Kurama."

He bent his head near her ear and whispered it to her. Her eyes went wide and her face turned pasty white.

"Of course not!"

Hiei said nothing but Keiko could almost taste the disbelief.

At the hard look on his face, Botan's resistance crumbled.

"Yes..."

Now Keiko was thoroughly confused. What were they talking about?

Then, what Botan said next made Keiko feel faint.

"Keiko...I'm pregnant."

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**Read and Review darling readers!**


	2. escaping the prison

**Disclaimer: **I do not own YuYu Hakusho. That means no Hiei, Yusuke, Kurama, Kuwabara or Koenma or any of the other gorgeous anime guys that are featured on this show. They (and of their lucky anime girlfriends) all belong to Mr. Togashi. And now that I am thoroughly depressed, I think I'll just toddle off to bed with a huge quart of rocky-road ice cream.

With plushies.****

**Warning: **May be OOC at some point but I'm going to try REALLY hard to make sure that they're all in character. There is NO Kuwabara bashing in this story unless it's just Yusuke or Hiei being themselves. I happen to respect Kuwabara and I hope that I don't get any flames just because I refuse to bash him. Also, some spoilers...a few vague references to the Makai Tournament and the Sensui Arc.

**AHHH! An OOC Hiei!** **I AM SORRY T-T. **

_Italics _are Hiei's thoughts. Don't worry, context will tell you who's talking when.

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**Emotional Distress**

**by**** bittersweet-memory**

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"You're WHAT?"

Botan shifted uneasily under Keiko's intense scrutiny.

"I-I'm pregnant."

She turned to Kurama and Hiei with alarm apparent in her eyes. She didn't want Koenma to find out. He had made his decision and she **refused** to be with someone who didn't want her. Not to mention the fact that she didn't much care for him either at the moment.

Didn't she?

"You three have to promise me right now that what I tell you won't go beyond this backyard."

Keiko stubbornly stuck out her bottom lip and Botan wondered if what Yusuke said about her being "completely impossible" wasn't half true.

"That depends on what you tell us Botan. The only person you should be thinking about is this child and if it's better for him or her that Koenma knows then I can't make any promises."

Botan sighed and bowed her head. Keiko was right. It was terribly selfish of her to keep this from Koenma. But when he told her about Ayame...

"Here's the deal. I'll tell you everything. Then you can help me decide what in the world I'm going to do."

She turned to Kurama and Hiei with an apologetic look. She knew she could trust them both with her life (albeit Hiei was a little cold), but this was something she wanted only Keiko to know right now.

"Would you boys mind? I promise that if I decide to tell everyone, you'll have first dibs."  
Kurama nodded. He could only imagine how difficult this was going to be for her and he respected her privacy. He'd gotten the answer to the question he'd been wondering about the whole day, and that was enough for now.

"All right Botan. And you don't have to worry, Hiei and I keep very good secrets."

She turned her eyes to Hiei, who had been watching her with a strange sort of intensity that she'd found a bit uncomfortable. He looked away, preventing her from seeing what little emotion he allowed himself to express. As Kurama made a move to go inside, he gave her a reassuring smile.

"If you ever need anything Botan, please know that I will offer whatever assistance I can."  
She gave him a weak smile in response.

"Thank you Kurama. And don't worry; you won't have to keep this secret for long. Shizuru and Yukina will be out here as soon as you go back inside."

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Hiei slipped away when he was certain no one would notice. Kurama and Botan were still talking below him, as he watched from his vantage point on his favorite tree. So the ferry girl was pregnant...

Hiei honestly didn't care. It was none of his business either way and the only reason he stayed for the answer to Kurama's question was because of his damnable curiosity. Having never been the recipient of what romantics called "love" and jaded cynics called "slow suicide", he was fascinated by its manifestation. And a child was the perfect example of it. The unborn child's situation vaguely resembled his own. If Koenma ever found out, there was not doubt he would take the child from her, like the village of the Koorime had done to his own mother. Illegitimate though he or she was, if Koenma's fiancée proved to be...infertile, then the ferry-girl's..._Botan's_ child would be the heir to the throne of the Spirit World.

Quite a pickle.

Though he would die under duress of extreme torture rather then admit it, he felt an odd sort of kinship with the unborn. Not that he or she would be unwanted, like Hiei had been unwanted, of course. The baby would be a stigma. Someone to be spoken about in whispers accompanied by the waggling eyebrows and pointed fingers. He knew what that was like.

He would ask Murkuro for a "vacation". She had more then enough soldiers to patrol his areas. He would satisfy his curiosity about "love" and note the reactions of mother and child. Then he would leave unnoticed and go back to his life in the Demon World.

_It would be research_, he decided.

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True to Botan's prediction, five minutes after Kurama left, Shizuru and Yukina came rushing out. No doubt Yusuke and Kuwabara wanted to find out what the hell was going on. She could only hope Kurama found some way to keep them distracted.  
Shizuru threw a glare at Botan.

"Why the hell didn't you tell us earlier?!"

That was all it took before she broke down crying again. Yukina got the four fold-up chairs that were leaning against the solid structure of the house and set them up in a three-to-one fashion. Her subtle way of showing that there would be no escape for Botan this time. She gave herself up to the inevitable and after they were all seated, she began her story.

"Well, I don't think I'll have to tell you **how **it happened. I mean, well...you know. The important thing is, I found out when I was on my vacation. I was so excited about telling him too."

She sniffled, once. Twice.

Keiko fumbled for her handkerchief in the dark and handed it to Botan.

"Well anyway... I'm pretty sure you're all thinking that it's impossible for non-corporeal bodies to get pregnant. And you're right. It is. But don't forget that I do have my human form....and well..."

She blushed in the dark and Shizuru shook her head. Yukina was rapt with attention, grabbing onto Botan's hand and squeezing every few seconds in a sign of reassurance. Keiko's hormonal imbalance was making her switch between sorrow for her friend and intense hatred for anything male.

"How far along are you Botan? And why isn't it showing?"

"Hmmm...Let's see. It's July now. I was on vacation in May...so about nine weeks, give or take a few days."

"Well that's something at least. But you're going to show pretty soon. What are you planning to do?"

"Let me finish the story first."

Now that it was out in the open, Botan couldn't stop the words from coming out. She'd kept this a secret for two whole months and she had to tell someone.

"Well anyway, when I got back to the Spirit World, I was so happy. I mean, this would bring us closer then we ever had been before. So I walked into his office, expecting anything else from what he had waiting for me. He told me, he was sorry. He told me, he had fallen for someone new. And that he still loved me, but not the way I loved him. He gave me the proverbial 'it's not you, it's me' speech."

Keiko's knuckles were so white, that the armrest she was squeezing actually squeaked in protest. Shizuru had started muttering underneath her breath and the tiny "clinks" told her that Yukina was not unaffected by her story.

"I was in shock. I couldn't say anything. My thoughts were in a jumble and my jaw went slack. I couldn't believe what the hell I was hearing. I made up my mind then and there that I wasn't going to tell him. I couldn't. How the hell was I supposed to react? So I smiled, and told him it was probably for the best. I congratulated Ayame. Looking back now, he probably wondered why I was so complacent. "

She was crying now, for the third time that day.  
"I hate to say it. But it gave me a sick sort of pleasure to know something he didn't. Something I know, he'd like to know about. Something I'll keep secret for as long as I can."

The wind blew through the trees but aside from that, and the _clink_ of tear gems, there was silence.

Then Keiko brushed away her tears and grabbed Botan's hand. Yukina gathered up the gems she had cried and Shizuru smoked a cigarette, still cursing the idiocy and density of the male gender.

"You're staying here with me and Yusuke, Botan. That's all there is to it. I refuse to let you go back there. Koenma had better hide if he doesn't want his ass kicked."  
Botan looked at her with pleading eyes.

"Don't judge him so harshly. I'm sure some of the fights were my fault. And plus, there is that teeny-tiny matter of me not telling him I'm pregnant. He'll never forgive me if he does find out."

"How can you defend him? He's a spoiled, selfish bastard who broke your heart!"

"I honestly don't know Shizuru. I don't even know how I feel about him sometimes. All I do know, is that I don't want him coming back to me just because this child needs a 'father'—"

"If the rest of the guys ever find out, he or she will have four of 'em."

Keiko stood up and smoothed down her dress.

"Then it's settled. You're staying here. Just tell the toddler that you're on unofficial leave. If he asks why...then tell him Keiko said so."

"Keiko said what?"

All four girls turned to find Yusuke leaning casually against the doorway.

**

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**

Ten minutes later, he was seething.

They refused to tell him what was going on! Keiko had only glared at him and insisted that Botan would be staying with them for the next couple of months. He had agreed, figuring that the break-up had taken its toll on her.

**He had no idea...**

**

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**

Koenma shifted uneasily in the love seat next to Ayame. The only people inside were Kuwabara and Kurama. Where the heck had everybody gone?

A few minutes later, Keiko reappeared. She shot a vicious death-glare that would have made even Hiei cringe and sat down across from him, muttering choice expletives. He chuckled. Yusuke was in deep trouble for something. He looked at the woman sitting beside him. She was different from the others he had known in his life. She was calm and clear, like a tall glass of cool water in the desert. So unlike Botan, with her expressive face and often loud antics. Although, he would admit, there were times he missed the bubbly cheer. Botan had gotten unbelievably quiet since her vacation in the human world. Her eyes lost a bit of their sparkle and there was no longer the customary "bounce" in her step. He brushed off any feelings of guilt. It couldn't have been his fault. She had told him it was "okay", that she was "fine".

And that was that.

**

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**

Yusuke Urameshi might have been what some considered stupid in the classroom, but he definitely wasn't stupid in the proverbial game of life. He knew when there were bad signs in the woodwork and his living room was full of it tonight. For one thing, all of the girls (except for Botan), were impaling Koenma with harsh stares. Even Yukina, who never had anything bad to say about anything, was frowning at him. Next to him, Keiko was muttering something about "castration" and "lack of manly honor". Kuwabara was shifting his eyes from Ayame to Botan, and Yusuke could tell that his friend was mentally comparing the two women. Kurama was reading his book and Shizuru was making stilted conversation with Ayame. Hiei, had yet to return from wherever the hell he had disappeared to.

All in all, it was very suspicious behavior.

And Yusuke's former detective instincts were kicking in, demanding he solve the case.

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**

"Koenma, could I talk to you for a moment?"

He turned to Botan in question.

"Can't it wait Botan? I have to be home by bed time. You know that! Dad gets very angry if I'm not in bed by 12:00."

A low rumbling sound was heard in the vicinity of his right side and he turned to see Keiko fairly foaming at the mouth. He really felt for Yusuke right now.

"Please Koenma sir, it will only take a few moments."

He didn't know why he agreed. Maybe it was because something inside him didn't want to leave yet so soon. Maybe it was because he was delaying telling his father that he would soon be having an heir. But more then likely, Koenma thought, it was the fact that Botan's voice was void of all cheer. She spoke like she was going to her execution.

"Oh fine!"

She led him out to the backyard and paused, unsure, as if she didn't know what to say.

"Koenma-sir—"

"Botan, a few months ago, we were more then friends. You don't have to add the 'sir' anymore. You know that."

She repeated his name with the sir, as though he hadn't even spoken. It...hurt him for some reason. With all the commotion over proposing to Ayame, he had never once considered the fact that Botan would revert back to her more formal way of addressing him. With that single word, she had replaced the barrier that kept them separate. Once again, they were no longer lovers. They weren't even friends. Now they were just employer and employee...

He broke off from his train of thought when he realized that she had been saying something and he hadn't been paying attention.

"...leave of absence?"

"What?"

"Koenma sir, you haven't been listening to a word I've been saying have you?"

Her hand came up to flick his nose in a familiar fashion when it froze mid-air, as though she suddenly remembered who _she_ was and who _he_ was and what they were to each other now. She allowed her hand to fall limply back to her side.

"I asked you for a leave of absence."

"What for? I gave you a vacation a few months ago."

She averted her eyes.

"Well, that is..."

"She's going to help me take care of the baby."

They both turned to Keiko who was watching Koenma with subtle distaste.

"Will that be all right Koenma sir?"

"But you have Shizuru and Yukina here to help you—"

"I want Botan here too."

He looked at Yusuke, who had seemingly appeared out of nowhere and was now standing near Keiko. He shrugged helplessly. He knew when it was a bad time to make Keiko angry and this definitely qualified.

"Sorry toddler. I can't help you here."

He turned back to Botan, frantic. For some reason he didn't care to think about, he didn't like the idea of her here in the human world where she could get hurt. Or worse.

Where she could fall in love. (1)

He suddenly thought of the perfect excuse.

"What about your routes? Who will take over?"

Keiko answered for her friend, turning another glare at him.

"Why don't you get Ayame to arrange that? I mean, she is head ferry-girl now isn't she? Not Botan anymore right? This is her job."

Ayame, who had stepped outside in looking for Koenma cringed at the anger in Keiko's voice when the brunette had said her name. She looked at Botan, and back again at her fiancé. She had been rather wary of Botan and her relationship with Koenma. There were times even now, that his eyes would glaze over and he would lose himself. No doubt caught in one of his memories with her. She saw Botan's leave as a perfect excuse to reestablish her claim on Koenma. Not to mention, as uncomfortable as she was with Botan and Koenma's prior involvement, Botan was her friend. And she had been looking rather peaked.

"Koenma, why don't you just let her have the time? I'm sure we can find someone to take her place."

He fought with himself. He knew it was over with him and Botan, and it was unfair to Ayame to continue to think her in this way but he couldn't help it. A part of him still had feelings for her. And it was that part that gave him the final push.

"All right."

Up in his tree, Hiei released the breath he didn't realize he had been holding. After all, his study wouldn't be very successful without a subject right?

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(1) Am I the only one who thinks that Koenma isn't being just a tad bit selfish? –,-

Oh and if their feelings are seem all mumbled and mixed up, remember the title of the story! Emotional Distress. It'll be a while before any of them get how they feel straight. Not to mention Botan's hormones now....

**Review Responses**

**(hands out various articles of Hiei's clothing....teehee)**

**Grim: **Thanks! Here's your update!

**BlazingBotan** Hehe. Indeed, the HB will be fun to write but since I'm trying to keep them in character, the only thing you're going to be getting (for a while) are little snippets. Still, I'll try to incorporate as many as I can!

**tuathafaerie** O.O....(bows before the HB goddess) I am extremely happy you decided to review! It's an honor.... (weeps) I hope you enjoyed this update. The story might get a little angsty. But the romance _is_ coming never fear!

**Pocky****-and-Fred:** O.O (bows again). Love Is in The Air is wonderful! (sniffles) and you were the 20th person to add me to the faves list! You rock! Oh and it took me about.....30 minutes to type that up but I had to really check it over and even then I saw I made mistakes....-,-.  
****

**Bar-Ohki:** It was evil of Koenma? I wasn't sure who you were talking about (because I am dense). I hope you enjoy this update anyway!

**Read and Review darling readers!**


	3. on romance novels

**Disclaimer: **I do not own YuYu Hakusho.

**Warning: **May be OOC at some point but I'm going to try REALLY hard to make sure that they're all in character. There is NO Kuwabara bashing in this story unless it's just Yusuke or Hiei being themselves.

I hope everyone likes it so far!

I really can't keep secrets when it comes to pairings in my fanfiction but at the same time I don't want to tell my readers directly. Therefore, I will be content to say that the main pairing of this story is an ALTERNATE ONE. Tee hee... so now you all know.

OH. And I'm tweaking some of the canon to fit my needs. _Tweaking _not complete canon-rape.

:3

**Bold **aresentences in Botan's book.**  
**_Italics_ are Botan's....interesting comments.  
**_Hiei's_****_ research notes_** are in bold italic.

You'll see what I'm talking about.****

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**Emotional Distress**

**by bittersweet-memory**

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The next few days passed in a blur for Botan. Her things were delivered via portal courtesy of the still-reluctant Koenma and she spent most of her time getting reacquainted with Yusuke and the gang. Her emotions were still ranging in extremes. There were no "moderate" feelings. She attributed it (as Yusuke did Keiko's) to pregnancy hormones. Of course, there was no keeping the secret from the two former delinquents of Sarayashiki Jr. High. Yusuke was in shock and it took Keiko three slaps to get him back. Kuwabara responded in almost the same way except he recovered quicker and once again, Botan was swept up in a literal rush of emotion. She didn't give them the details as she had to the girls but they simply assumed that the child was indeed Koenma's and left it at that. Much to Botan's appreciation, no one asked what she would do after the child was born. She wasn't quite sure of the answer herself at the moment.

Keiko had just gotten up to make breakfast and Yusuke was in the process of nursing a fresh red handprint for saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. Koenma had provided for all four Spirit Detectives to live in splendor for the rest of their lives after they unofficially "retired" so he didn't really have to work. But as Yusuke was the restless sort, in addition to opening his own ramen stand with Keiko, he worked with Kurama part time at his father's company. Kuwabara was still studying. His dream to become a scientist was only encouraged by the supernatural phenomenon he had seen first hand as a tool for the Spirit World. She noticed that Hiei had been hadn't gone back to the Makai yet but simply attributed his decision to stay to keeping further watch over Yukina. She sighed wistfully at that. She wished she had someone to love her the way Hiei obviously loved Yukina or the way Yusuke loved Keiko or....

Oh hell.

She was depressing herself again.

After waving Yusuke off, and making sure Keiko took her morning nap (to help with the crankiness), Botan settled down for a day of relaxed reading. She perused the shelves for something that would take her mind off her troubles.

_Ah ha!_

A flash of pink had caught her eye. She pulled out an extremely worn paperback with a picture of a very handsome man holding an equally beautiful woman in his arms. She raised an eyebrow at the character's hair colors. The woman had blue hair, not unlike that of Botan's and the man...

Well he had black hair.

At the sudden thought that passed into her mind, she dropped the book and almost choked on her own laughter. For a moment there...

It was too ridiculous a thought to even voice out loud. The thought that she and...

She picked up the book and walked over to the couch, arranging the pillows to form a protective cushion around her. She never noticed the sound of the door unlocking or the slight shuffling of wood on wood as a familiar black blur settled himself in one of the dining room's comfortable chairs.

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Hiei pulled out the notebook he had "borrowed" from Kurama's stash and the pen he'd found on Yusuke's table. This would be the easier part of his observations. The more extensive part would come once the child was actually here. For now, it was enough to note her general behavior and emotional state. He used his Jagan to see what she was reading, and more importantly to see what she was thinking. He mentally snorted as he discovered it was one of those "romance novels". He delved into the mystery that was Botan's mind (discreetly as not to alert her to his presence), almost having a conniption at what he heard and definitely at what he saw. At first all he could hear were the sentences in the book. Wither she was an extremely fast reader or she had skipped ahead to the more _interesting_ parts. Along with the sentences, he heard her little side comments.

****

**"'...Hiyoshi, drown me in your kisses!'"**

_Snort. As if. More like drown her in your saliva! If there's one thing I've learned in this entire fiasco, it's the fact that men can't kiss worth a damn..._

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**"'Oh Benika...I love you more then anything in this world!'"**

This time, Hiei could hear the edge of cynicism in her thoughts.

_Yeah right. Then abandon her after you promise to love her and only her forever..._

_Oh boo! The point of this is to forget all my problems!_

After a few moments, his eyes widened and his pen would have clattered to the floor had he not reacted so quickly.

Botan was thinking about _him_....

**

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**

After a few more adjectives like "lip-locking" and "tongues battling for dominance", Botan heaved an angry sigh and looked for a more interesting paragraph. Idly, she thought to herself how similar the personality of the hero was to a certain fire demon. They were both cold, calculating bastards. But they were **also** loyal, protective of those dear to them and...and...

Botan sucked in a much needed breath.

Her thoughts were taking a _very_ dangerous turn. She had just gotten out of a relationship with Koenma where the only thing she had left to show for it was a broken heart and a baby who would never know his (or her) real father. She had absolutely no business thinking of someone else like **that** so soon. Especially not Hiei. Why, he was her complete antithesis! Stoic where she was bubbly, brooding where she was happy...not to mention the fact that the only women he'd likely ever have any affection for were his sister and maybe Mukuro. A stab of pain hit her for a moment but she shook her head, as if that would rid her of the ludicrous thoughts.

The last thought she had as she hovered between reality and dreams were that her hormones were more out of whack then usual if she ever thought of Hiei like that. She could only be thankful that he couldn't hear her right now.****

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After a moment spent gaping in absolute shock, Hiei began the slow process of mentally raising his lower jaw from where he was certain it had fallen of the floor and shutting his mouth. He made sure to note the possible hallucinations one went when one was undergoing pregnancy:

**__**

**_Day One:_**

**_Subject seems more hallucinatory then usual. Thinks of nonsense. Possibly permanent damage if she honestly thinks what she just thought might stand a snowball's chance in hell of actually happening. _**

**__****  
  
**He capped off his pen with a flourish and made move to go outside but before he could get to the door, he heard slight whimpering coming from the couch. Against his better judgment, he turned around to see what was wrong. She was writhing and moaning though whether it was due to pleasure or pain, Hiei wasn't sure of yet. After a few moments, she calmed down but did not stop the shivering. He walked up the stairs and after checking on Keiko (because he didn't want Yusuke coming after him if he found out something had happened to her while he was there), came down with a soft blanket. He draped over her quivering form and once again, made way to go to the door. But he didn't miss the name she whispered. 

"Hiei..."

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**

He raced through the city, his form only a mere blur to the normal human beings around him going about their daily business. After checking on Yukina, he planned to bother...er....help Kurama and Yusuke at their..."job". He nearly chuckled at the irony, before remembering that he wasn't the chuckling sort. Two men who could have controlled the other two-thirds of the Makai and they instead chose to live in this forsaken world. He'd never understand their decision. His mind wandered, floating through his many memories and finally focused on one particular one. It had been the first official case for the young Reikai Tantei. The four Saint Beasts had been defeated and they were standing in the remains of what used to be their impenetrable fortress. Well sort of. Kurama and Hiei were standing. Kuwabara was wobbling. Yusuke was in a dead faint, his life energy exhausted after using it to save the life of his woman. He heard himself asking why their unofficial leader would sacrifice his own life to save that of someone else's. That damnable Kurama had simply smiled in that enigmatic way of his and said that "there are reasons". Now, a few years later, he found himself agreeing. Though he worked in the Makai, the fact that his beloved sister was here beckoned every so often and whenever he could get away, he found himself visiting her or, as per usual, just watching from the shadows as the oaf got to love her in a way he could never hope to. She'd taken the news of their sibling relationship quite well. He suspected that she probably already had inkling. Her...husband...wasn't surprised either and had actually been quite mature about the matter, insisting on shaking his hand and asking him for Yukina's. Looking into her hopeful eyes, how could he refuse? But that didn't stop him from doing his duty and checking on her whenever he could.

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**Yes....it's out. But it's shorter! I'm so sorry! I will try and make it better and LONGER next time!**

**Review Responses:**

**(prods fellow authors to update) prodprod**

**(hands out plushies)**

**tuathafaerie: **glad to see you haven't lost interest yet! ;3 teehee. As to whether Botan will tell Koenma, we shall see....I'm a bit **miffed** at him right now. And you're right, Ayame isn't a bad character! Maybe I'll have her break up with Koenma and be with Jorge....just kidding! Since I don't think I'm spoiling any surprises, Ayame's not pregnant. I'll give Koenma a little credit. I don't think he'd....well....yeah...with her if he just did ....erm...**that** with Botan. Teehee! I'm glad you're enjoying it! coughcough**updateTtRDtF**coughcough

**Pocky****-and-Fred: **where's my update? (shakes angry fist) Just kidding! I'm glad this fic relaxed you after an evil day at the universal hellhole. School should be considered cruel and unusual punishment. -.-

**BlazingBotan:** Your name makes me giggle....just because I'm weird like that ;3. I'm glad you're enjoying the fic!

**Robin Autumn:** She of the HB fics! Tee hee! **Heights** is great! And it should be updated (hinthint) Ahhh...yes I am irritating! This story is kind of a love triangle because of the fact that Botan isn't quite sure of her feelings yet. But I'll fix her wagon... (cackles insanely)

**Ariyana**Ahhh! I am a really bad editor...(considers finding a beta...) but I'm glad you took the time to read my story and I'm even happier that you enjoyed it!

**Grim: **yes. Seeing how he reacts will definitely be amusing...er....intriguing.****


	4. reflections and happypants

**Disclaimer: **I do not own YuYu Hakusho.

**I decided to get off my lazy ... and update. As always, potential for OOC.**

**_Hiei's_****_ research notes_** are in bold italic. His notebook also seems to double as an informal journal...

:3

**This chapter will begin with various notes. The rest of it will switch from Hiei's to Botan's POV.**

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**Emotional Distress**

**by**** bittersweet-memory**

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_Taken from the ultra-secret notebook..._

_Day Two_

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**_Females seem to consume more when they are pregnant. Mood swings are beginning. Almost as bad as the detective's woman. She went from bubbly to ...bitchy (for lack of a better term) in the span of an eye-blink. _**

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_Day Three_

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**_Detective almost caught me today. Invited me on another idiotic human outing. Almost said no but thought about Yukina not to mention the project. Feigned indifference. Don't want him to clue in on the real reason I haven't returned to Mukuro yet._**

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**_What the hell am I writing? _**

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**_He's too dense to realize anything that complex._**

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**_She's been giving my tree strange looks lately._**

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**_Fates forbid she's appraising it as a future home for that brat..._**

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_Day Five_

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**_  
Subject goes through moods the way the idiot goes through kitten chow. _**

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Those lights were really starting to piss me off. Artificial illumination always hurts my eyes.

"Look Hiei! That rollercoaster sure looks fun! Let's try it out!"

Her incessant giggles were starting to irk me. I tried for the tenth time that day to wrench my cloak away from her prying fingers. She hadn't let go of me since the damned minute we'd arrived at this demon-torture. I looked over at the fox. Idiot. He seemed to be having fun talking with his woman.

"I'm not going to say it again. Let go."

There. I had said it.

"You jerk! All I want to do is make sure you have fun!"

She lifted her hand and prepared to slap me.

As if she really could.

I caught it mid swing and squeezed her wrist. The detective and Kurama might put up with abuse but I sure as hell wouldn't and definitely not with someone I hadn't even claimed.

"Think twice before lifting that hand again. Next time, you might find yourself with one less finger."

I dropped it and walked ahead.

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**  
  
**I watched as he wove his way through thecrowd, clearly intenton getting as far away from me ashe could.

_I just wanted him to loosen up a little..._

A hand on my shoulder pulled my attention behind me. I looked up to see Kurama's green eyes.

"Having fun Botan? We did go out for you after all."

I forced one of my trademark smiles onto my face though even I could tell that it lacked its regular genuine sparkle.

"Yes! I'm having a great time!"

I waited 'til he had gone ahead with Shizuru before turning a completely different direction. Yusuke and Keiko were at the food stands satisfying one of her infamous cravings for something sweet. Kuwabara was busy trying to win Yukina the stuffed animal she had fallen in love with at the baseball toss. Kurama and Shizuru were enjoying a rare chaos-free moment at the Ferris wheel.

Hiei was probably off terrorizing small children.

Typical.

I walked along the wet sand, relishing the feel of the waves near my feet. It was so peaceful now. And as I had taken to doing lately, I started to think about the little one growing inside me.

I went with Keiko on one of her appointments. Her OB-GYN asked me if I would like to know "what" I was going to have. At first I was hesitant. I mean, I was going to love it no matter what it was. But the curious part of me rebelled and I gave in.  
  
In 27 weeks, I'm going to have a little boy named Himura.

I sat down on the gritty sand and hugged my knees to my chest. My outer calm completely contradicted the turmoil inside of me.

_How was I going to keep this a secret?_

_Where would I go from here?_

_What was I going to do?_

I blinked the tears away, as unbidden, the thought of his father floated in my minds-eye. No matter what, I would find a way to make it work. I would be happy again.

****

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* * *

_She looks so alone. _

That was my initial thought as I finally spotted her. My second thought was how much of an idiot she was to have been sitting in the dark where any damned demon looking for revenge against the "famed" Spirit Detectives could find her. We'd split up into groups to find her. And I find her here on the beach. Completely oblivious to absolutely everything.

If I was an enemy, she'd be dead.

I continued to watch her. She must have been thinking about him again. Her eyes had that wistful look every time she did.

I couldn't help seeing the resemblance between her and my mother. Both alone, abandoned by the father of their children. If the toddler had known, I'm almost positive that he would react the same way my mother's village reacted to her pregnancy.

Or maybe not.

Shaking my head to dispel any other "misty-water nostalgia", I decided to let her know I was here.

"Let's go."

Her eyes widened, and then searched the darkness before finally settling on my billowing cloak.

"Oh hello Hiei..."

Her voice was soft. She was no doubt still caught up in her own thoughts.

"The others are waiting for you. We would have been gone by now if it hadn't been for your idiotic habit of wandering off. What's the matter? Can't even keep track of your surroundings anymore? Do you need someone to help you with that as well?"

I half expected her to try and slap me again.

But she didn't.

She just gave me a look that seemed out of place on her young face and walked past me. She was shivering. Idiot girl. Couldn't even enough to bring a sweater along. I shook off my own and offered it to her with a grunt.

She didn't take it.

****

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For some reason, his barbed comments bothered me more than usual. Actually, his entire attitude seemed to bother me lately and I couldn't even begin to explain why. After all, it probably wasn't any different then what he had said to me in the past but they seemed to drive in deep today.

I'm blaming it all on my damned hormones.

For the nth time this week, I wonder why he's still here. I mean, Hiei isn't really the human-loving type and even back when we were facing the end of the world (courtesy of Sensui...) and he was still on probation, he'd said that if there were a way out of this "vile world" he would have taken it.

It's probably because of Yukina.

I was jerked out of my thoughts when Yusuke announced that we were back.

Funny how I don't even remember getting into the car.

****

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_Day 6 _

**_She's been crying again. _**

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**_How weak. _**

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**_I suppose this comes as further proof that love does nothing but make you act like an imbecile. Or in her case, more imbecilic than usual._**

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**_It'll never happen to me._******

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I couldn't sleep again. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw his face. In my dreams I saw him with her. I wonder what she has that I don't. What in the world was so special about her that she made him forget everything we'd shared in two damned years?

What was I saying?

I was happy for them. I was happy for her. I was happy if he was happy.

Somehow my mantra didn't have the same calming effect it used to.

I got up to get a warm glass of milk.

And maybe a cookie.

Imagine my surprise when I found that my customary kitchen stool already had an occupant.

"What's up Keiko? Couldn't get to sleep?"

She looked at me with her warm brown eyes. Right now she was happy, but at the slightest provocation she turned psycho.

_Shudder_.

Keiko sure is a scary pregnant lady.

"No. Yusuke's darned snoring kept me up again."

She suddenly got an evil smirk on her face.

"Don't worry. Tomorrow's breakfast won't be as easy to swallow as It usually is. He'll pay..."

Like I said, scary.

"So what's kept you up?"

I shrugged and fiddled with the hem of my night shirt. I couldn't help thinking that pretty soon it wouldn't fit and I would have to ask Keiko to come shopping with me.

"The usual."

Her eyes softened at the wistful tone in my voice and I was pretty sure I didn't have to tell her what I was sighing about. She's told me before that I use the same tone she did when Yusuke was in the Makai.

So did that mean I was still in love with Koenma?

"Listen Botan. You'll make it through this. We're all right behind you."

"I know... and thank you. For everything you've done for me."

"What are friends for?"

I grabbed her into an awkward hug, her protruding stomach making it impossible for us to "bear-hug".

A sudden cooing sound lilted down the stairs and into the open kitchen. I couldn't help it. I started to giggle.

"Is that Yusuke?"

She shook her head ruefully.

"Yep. Let's see...he's not crying so that rules out the evil riceball dream. This must be Dr. Happypants."

"...Should I even ask?"

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**Thanks to everyone who put this story on their favorites!**

**Actually...thanks to everyone who's reading! **

**Review Responses:**

**tuathatfaerie**here's the update! A little more of my horrible attempt at humor -.- Hopefully you'll forgive me... There was a touch of HBness but not nearly as much as I'd like. If I had my way, I'd have them mating like bunnies. But that would be out of character. Darn! :3 I hope you like!

**Robin Autumn:** I'm glad you found it funny! I was kind of worried that Botan's behavior didn't fit. But I've heard that the mood swings start at around two months. So RUN FAR AWAY! Just kidding! I'm glad your sister hasn't gotten "crazy" though. Yes indeed update! (prodprod)

**Yohko**** no Gothika: **First I have to tell you how lurvely your name is! x) Thanks so much for your compliment! I'll be sure to check out your story! I'm sorry I didn't give you a plushie! (pat pat) Here you go! (hands plushie)

**BlazingBotan** Here's the update! Hope you like it!

**Ariyana** I'm glad you liked that part. (whispers) That was the most difficult to write...I hope you liked this chapter!

**hiei/botan4ever**Thanks for the compliment! I hope you liked this story!

**Crystal-Koneko:** No action here either....(kicks a rock guiltily) Sorry! I hope you liked this chapter though!

**LivingImpared** Your name is cooooool....(feels bad) mines all sentimental...I'm glad you liked my story.


	5. letting it out

**Disclaimer: **You know the drill.

**As always, potential for OOC.**

**_Hiei's research notes_** and **_all-around journal entries_** are in bold italic.

=3

**The rest of it will switch from Hiei's to Botan's POV and end with third person.**

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**Emotional Distress**

**by**** bittersweet-memory**

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_From the files of Agent Hiei_... (_snortle_

_Day 13_

**_The detective is rapidly becoming the stupidest being in our little "clique". We are at the healing center, waiting for news on his woman. Honestly, the way he's acting it might as well be him strapped to a table, numb from the neck down..._**

**_It's really too bad Kurama forgot his little recording device. This would have been amusing to watch later on when I wasn't so irritated._**

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Around me, there was controlled chaos.

Yusuke was fighting against the combined strength of Kurama and the fool, arms flailing as he tried unsuccessfully to convince the "nurse" to let him in. His mate (the idiot's sister), was arguing with the attendant at the desk about not being able to "light up". My sister was the only one 9besides me, of course) whom hadn't yet relinquished her claim on sanity. She was sitting across from me, knitting a blanket for the child.

"Urameshi! You idiot! You're just b-begging for a s-slap f-from K-Keiko! She doesn't want you in there! So just calm down dammit! You'll be the first one in when all's said and done!"

The fool's voice stuttered with the force of his exertion. He finally ceased his struggles when a shout lilted throughout the hallway for the entire city to hear.

"Yusuke you beast! You are never touching me again! You bastard! Just wait 'til I see you..."

After a few more choice words (the entire hospital now knew that Yusuke's parents weren't married when he was born and that some of his...anatomical proportions were less then satisfactory), the screaming stopped all together. A blue-haired imp ran into the waiting room and gave us the news. She'd been elected to be the woman's "coach".

"Congratulations Yusuke! Bingo!"

But he wasn't there to respond.

I idly wondered "what" he'd gotten.

A muffled thump told me that the feared Spirit Detective, winner of the Dark tournament and all-around save-the-day superhero, had fainted dead away.

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It was so beautiful.

I had never been more jealous of Keiko more than now. She was red, her face was scrunched up in a universal grimace that all mothers would recognize and there was not just a bit of blood but she was radiant.

And through the pallor of his skin, when I told him that she was ready, all the love Yusuke had always been reluctant to show in public was so apparent.

I had to fight back a horrible stab of jealousy. Not of Keiko and Yusuke of course. Just of the happiness that they had together. What had I done wrong, that I would end up in this situation without someone by my side?

I trailed behind as Shizuru and Yukina talked animatedly about the many shopping trips that would follow and Kurama and Kuwabara argued good-naturedly about who would be the godfather of the child. I didn't want to pull down anyone's mood.

"Botan aren't you coming?"

I looked up to see Yukina's kind smile.

"In a bit dear. You guys go see Keiko."

She looked at me, unsure but went when I waved her away. I needed some time by myself.

"Hn. Aren't you going to see her too?"

"Hello Hiei. And no not yet. But you go ahead."

"Don't tell me what to do."

"Must you turn every little thing I say into an argument?"

"Must you be so selfish to deny your 'friend' your support on her day?"

Something in me broke and I snapped, releasing all of the pent up anger I had stored inside me for the past few months. I tackled him to the ground, pounding clenched fists against his chest, not caring anymore that he would probably kill me with one spurt of spirit energy. I didn't even care anymore. I just had to let it out.

"How dare you lecture me on selfishness! You don't know what I've been through! You don't know what it is to see everyone so happy and wonder what the hell you've done so wrong that you can't have it either..."

I trailed off. Of course he understood. He'd had to watch for years as his sister was oblivious to his own existence. Then, later on, he had joined the team but not really been a part of it. I stopped my tirade, drained and slumped across him, finally just crying.

And he didn't push me away.

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I could have killed her. I should have.

So why didn't I?

My primary purpose was to gain some sort of reaction from her besides the daze she seemed to be in lately. I'd wanted to anger her into showing some emotion other then the pathetic sadness that had become her general demeanor. I didn't expect her to break down and tackle me.

I didn't expect...to pity her.

She was alone here, as I was alone. Her friends surrounded her, and yet she was completely and utterly alone. Much like myself in that respect. These people I've come to trust as my allies and protect as I would my liege and secretly call my friends. But there's always been something that kept me apart from them. And now someone felt the same.

So I did something that surprised us both and held her as she cried, never saying a word.

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He was doing it again.

Surprising me.

It was becoming harder and harder for me to fear him, this paradox in front of me. The same man who cut down enemies without an ounce of remorse and yet held me with such gentleness as I cried against him. His warmth seeped into me, drying my tears reducing my sobs to dry heaves. I don't know how long I sat in his lap with his arms around me. But when he felt that I could finally control myself, he gently lifted me to my feet.

"Tell no one of this."

I said nothing and nodded but in my mind, I was falling.

If I wasn't careful, I would be crying again soon.

And this time it wouldn't be because of Koenma.

I led the way to Keiko's room, knowing that he would follow me. We walked in to see Kuwabara and Shizuru fighting over the privilege of holding the baby. The pink blanket practically screamed "I'm a cute little girl, come kiss me!" I stifled a chuckle. It looked like the younger Kuwabara was going to lose again. Yusuke looked up from his place on the bed next to a very happy looking Keiko.

"Hey you two! We were just about to send out a search party."

He quirked an eyebrow.

"Well damn...no wonder you guys took so long. And in the waiting room too..."

_Slappity__-slap-slap._

"Yusuke you jerk! Not in front of our baby!"

I took one look at our rumpled clothing and blushed. No wonder Yusuke had assumed the worse.

"Ow Keiko! After all this time you still pack a wallop!"

"Are you calling me old?"

As the happy couple engaged in another one of their arguments, Hiei calmly took off his bandana and focused it on the newest addition to the team.

"She'll be a fighter, like both of her parents though for her sake I hope she's got the woman's mind, detective. Her spirit power will no doubt be greater than yours with the proper training."

He walked over to the corner where Shizuru had knocked out her little brother and was now cooing at the crying baby.

"Shhhh....you look like your Uncle Kazuma when you cry! You don't want that do you?

But the baby wasn't listening. Her eyes were focused on the black-haired man in front of her. She blinked up at him and stopped crying. If she could have raised both arms, no doubt she would be doing so now. All conversation in the room stopped and all eyes (except for the unconscious Kazuma) turned to him, wondering how the coldest member of the team would react to this.

I could see Kurama trying to smother his chuckles and Yusuke's incredulity. Keiko, however, wasn't perturbed in the least.

"Hiei would you take Kagome for a while? I would but my arms are rather tired and she does seem to like you."

To everyone's surprise (including the now-conscious Kuwabara who had woken up in time to hear Keiko's odd request), Hiei didn't disagree. He held out his arms and waited til Shizuru had settled the baby before he bounced her experimentally. The newly-named Kagome only looked up at him, eyes smiling. By now, all shock had disappeared and conversations restarted.

I was the only one who noticed the small smile that touched his face for a split second.

I walked over to him and played with the child in his arms, silently noting that no matter his background, Hiei would make an excellent father.

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(Third Person POV)

Keiko watched the scene unfolding with a gleam in her eyes. She'd know that look in Botan's eyes anywhere. It was the same look she'd had in middle school whenever she saw Yusuke and the look Kuwabara had no doubt given Yukina the first time he'd seen her.

Botan was in love and she probably didn't even know it yet.

Luckily, she had friends who did.

She'd always felt that there was something about Hiei that drew her friend like Yusuke to the arcade. Opposites to be sure, with Hiei's brooding and Botan's giggles, but didn't people always say that opposites attract? And maybe his quiet ways would help heal Botan's fractured spirit. What she needed now was someone to help her forget Koenma's unintentional cruelty. And Keiko suspected that Hiei was just the man.

But it wasn't as though she couldn't help them along...

She looked at her husband and felt a smile spread across her face. Of course, she'd have to get his agreement first.

A knock at the door jerked her out of her thoughts. Hair, almost the same shade as her own and honey golden eyes. The Jr. sign and pacifier were the only things that weren't normal about the man who stood there.

_Koenma..._

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**Hmmm....I wonder what he wants...**

**Review Responses**

**(hands out Hiei clones **=3

**Robin Autumn: **Not much humor here, but I hope you liked it anyway. Yes indded, Botan is taking a while to get over Koenma. But Keiko's plans will definitely ....er...help it along. Bwahahahaaaaa! I hope you enjoyed! (prod update prod)

**Pocky****-and-Fred:** Ahhhh....school. Don't worry about it. I'll soon know how you feel. I start this Thursday =(. Congratulations on getting a role in your play! Yes indeed, lots of people seem to hate Koenma. I wonder who made them do that...(halo appears on head) . Anyway! Please enjoy the chapter! (prod update prod)

**Ariyana:** Ahhh...angst and fluff! Not much humor here...sorry! I hope you enjoyed it anyway! (attempts the tongue-twister with no success -.-). I'll be waiting for your next chapter too!

**tuathafaerie: **I wrote this right after I read your latest chapter. You've inspired me! I'll save the prodding for next time since the chapter you posted was soo good and nice and LONG! Teehee.

**LivingImpared: **I'm glad you think it's interesting! Yes I would really loved it if I could just have them mate like bunnies....but alas....I need plot -.- Oh well. I hope you enjoyed the chapter!

**Crystal Koneko:** Yes! The fluff scenes are always the funnest! I hope you enyoed the chapter.

**Hiei's Ice Maiden:** Yay! I'm glad you liked! **Daring to Say Anything** is so cuuuute! Teehee. Ignore me, I'm in fluff-withdrawal. I NEED FLUFF!

**BlazingBotan: **Here's the update! I'm glad you liked the last chapter and I hope you like this one!


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